Sonnet for my Favourite Supermarket

’his poem starts with an apostrophe.
LIDL you are wonderful! I ❤ U
Your logo is my constant yellow and blue
And I love your tomatoes, pesto and coffee.
O your ranges, so neat and untyrannical,
You agree brand selection is no genuine choice!
You wear Saltire badges even though you are Deutsch
And your checkout staff so admirably mechanical!
I only visit when it’s dark and the moon is out.
I prepare myself by feeding my head on violins.
O you glow so much! You are a happy large machine.
Meanwhile the universe is expensive and full of doubt.
You are its opposite. If only you sold skins!
I will go to you tonight and I will fill my heart with beans.

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Found poem on how one day Europe will destroy itself in a hail of Men Fire

I decided to upload this poem, found in one of my shopping receipts last December, for posterity. Not that it will do much good, posterity being rarely apocalypse-proof. Having said that, I also thought it fit to include a gloss to the poem written collaboratively with friends on Facebook. Names have been redacted to protect the frivolous.

Found poem on how one day Europe will destroy itself in a hail of Men Fire

Facebook comment feed on found poem on how one day Europe will be destroyed in a hail of Men Fire